Bowser Theater
by Cascore
Summary: With the renovation of Bowser's Castle has come the much anticipated Bowser Theater, where performances and general awesomeness are abound! Bowser's pretty happy about it, but he never realized it'd cause a commotion quite THIS big all around the world.


**Cascore's Note: Hidee-ho readers! Welcome to the beginning of what might probably be my next big project (maybe, I dunno). I know I have several other stories going on right now, but, for some reason, I find that when I have a lot of projects going on, it's easier for me to bunker down and get to work on them.**

**Anywho, this story takes place one week after the events of Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story have come to a close. If you haven't played the game yet, I seriously recommend it. It's easily become my favorite of the series so far.**

**A little warning: As expected, there are spoilers in this story. In this chapter alone, I talk about the game's ending quite a bit. So, if you haven't played the game and you don't wanna know what happens, then I advise you not to read. Otherwise, enjoy!**

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**"Renovation Celebration"**

"You know, even though Bowser accepted us back into his ranks and all, we _seriously_ betrayed him," Private Goomp of Lord Bowser's Goomba Brigade spoke up with a sigh, his blue nightcap threatening to fall off his head as his equally blue clothes dragged along on the ground behind him as he walked alongside his two companions. "I still feel kinda bad about it."

"No kidding," Corporal Paraplonk of the Paratroopa Division agreed, flying just over his two cohorts, wearing his makeshift helmet, a simple red bucket.

"Same here," Sergeant Guy of the Shy Guy Squad spoke up, the silver pipe and Magikoopa wand clunking around in his backpack.

"You guys think there's anything we can do to make it up to him?" the private asked, turning to his two more experienced companions with high hopes.

"I dunno... We'd have to do something really big. Huge even," Sergeant Guy muttered unsurely, dropping Goomp's spirits immediately.

"Hm... Well, we _are_ renovating the castle right now," Paraplonk mentioned, looking about at all the Goombas, Koopas, Dry Bones, Boos, Monty Moles, and Shy Guys working tirelessly to fix up the recently trashed castle. Fawful may have adopted the place as his own over the course of his sinister plan, but he sure didn't care to maintain it much at all. But, then again, it was also Bowser's own fault that the castle was in the state it was in. Who would have guessed the guy would grow a jillion times his own size and get locked in battle with his own castle? Something like that was unforeseeable. And totally awesome. "Didn't some Boo say that Bowser was muttering something about turning Fawful Theater into Bowser Theater?"

"Oh yeah, I remember someone talking about that," Private Goomp chimed in, his spirits lifting exponentially as he thought about what they could do. "We should do that for him guys. Just think, if Fawful Theater was such a hit, Bowser Theater would be even better, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't doubt it," Sergeant Guy agreed. "I hear Fawful's most successful show actually featured Bowser. That can't be a coincidence."

"Well then, I guess it's settled," Paraplonk concluded with a smile as he put his hands on his hips, determined. "Let's get to work building the all new Bowser Theater."

–

"Man, those Mario brothers sure did a number on you this time didn't they Bowser?"

"...Shut up," Bowser eventually muttered in response after taking a sip of his piping hot chicken noodle soup. It had been a full week since the Koopa King's adventure to oust Fawful had ended, and he was still quite bed-ridden from the fight he'd had with Mario and Green 'Stache after the Dark Star had been put down for good. His lone Magikoopa attendant, Kamek, answered to the king's every beck and call for the past seven days, and, surprisingly, Bowser still wasn't well enough to do so much as even walk.

Bowser closed his eyes for a moment after taking another sip of his soup, letting out a sigh that was accompanied by a small spurt of steam. He opened his eyes back up, noticed that his bowl was empty, and lazily set it aside, taking another sigh, to the surprise of his underling.

"Why the excessive sighing my lord?"

"It's nothing. I'm just tired," Bowser responded, lying back onto his pillows as his eyes closed once more. "I hate to admit it, but when those Super Moron-o Brothers were in my gut, my bod was feeling better than it ever had. It still sickens me to think they were partying in my body that whole time, but they must have been doing something right. Now I just feel cruddy and tired."

"It's probably due to all the adrenaline my lord," Kamek suggested as he grabbed the bowl and placed it on a silver platter located on a table next to Bowser's bed. The dish would be taken to the kitchen later. "You were constantly being stimulated during the course of your journey, and you never really grew tired because you were on an adrenaline high the whole time. Now that things have calmed down though and your body has time to rest, it's probably just recuperating from all the strenuous activity."

"...I guess," Bowser mumbled just before letting out a yawn. He was reeeaaally tired... Just the simple act of consuming a bowl of soup tuckered him out.

It wasn't long before the Koopa King resigned to taking a nap, placing his hands comfortably on his stomach as he let his mind just stop thinking. Kamek took note of this and picked up the platter with the empty bowl silently. He headed for the door-

"Lord Bowser, it's finally completed!"

A Paratroopa flew into the room at the speed of light and crashed head-on into Kamek. The platter he was previously carrying escaped his grasp and went sailing across the room alongside the empty bowl. Both items fell right into Bowser's agape mouth and wedged themselves into his throat. He woke up immediately, choking.

"GGGGGBBBLCCCHHH!!"

"So excited you can't even express your joy in words I see!" the Paratroopa said happily, flying above Bowser as he grabbed his throat with one hand and reached up into the air with the other. "Yes Your Rancidness, it's true! Bowser Theater is finally completed! Oh wonderful day of days!"

"CACK...CCCCCCHHHHHHCCCCCC...!!"

"...Is something wrong King Bowser? Your face looks a little pale. ...Ah! Obviously a reaction to the good news I bet!" the Paratroopa answered for himself as Bowser began to hold his throat with both hands now. "You're so filled with glee that the blood is rushing right out of your face! I understand how you feel Your Highness, for I too have longed for this day!"

Without a word, Kamek hurried to Bowser's side and waved his wand about wildly. The Paratroopa stared at him in awe for a moment before the platter and the bowl came flying out of Bowser's mouth, allowing the Koopa King to take in a very deep breath.

"Ah...so you were just choking. But I trust you're still excited?"

"GRAAAAH!!"

A stream of fire shot out of Bowser's mouth and completely engulfed the Paratroopa above him, leaving the Koopa with a thoroughly blackened body as Bowser shouted at him.

"Get out of here!" Not needing to be told twice, the Paratroopa bolted, and Bowser immediately turned to Kamek. "What's all this about a Bowser Theater? I didn't request for that to be built."

"Well Lord Bowser, a few of your troops who sided with Fawful thought it would be a good idea to replace Fawful Theater with one of your own," the Magikoopa answered, holding the platter and bowl in the air with his magic for fear of touching the saliva that now dripped from it. "They say they wish to make amends for betraying you."

"...Hm. Not bad," Bowser admitted under his breath, "How'd they know I wanted to replace Fawful Theater? Well, whatever," he said in a louder voice, "I guess it's about time I try to get on my feet again. I haven't even seen the progress on the castle yet. Of course, by now, everything should be done anyway."

"Don't strain yourself my lord," Kamek spoke up as Bowser rose into a sitting position and turned his body to face the edge of the bed. "You haven't walked for several days. Your legs may still be weak from the inactivity."

"Bah, just shut up will you?" Bowser muttered, pushing himself off the bed and landing on his feet roughly merely to spite the Magikoopa. "It ain't like I'm some vegetable. I'm Bowser! The king of kings, big and bad to the bone! I don't need bed rest!"

He had a point. Bowser had proven time and time again that he was pretty much the epitome of all that is awesome. He'd just proven it yet again last week by not only beating a perfect clone of himself, but a clone that was infused with the power of sheer darkness after all. Bowser was amazing. He was _the_ Koopa. Nothing could get in his way.

So why hadn't he moved an inch since the moment he jumped off his bed?

"Are you okay Your Stiffness?"

"I think so," Bowser answered unsurely, looking at the floor beneath him with a raised eyebrow. "I'm standing, right?"

"It appears that you are," Kamek assured him, causing Bowser to scratch his head in confusion.

"Weird. It doesn't feel like I am." He appeared to focus for a moment before folding his arms. "Can't even feel my legs."

"Perhaps they're asleep," Kamek reasoned, stepping over to Bowser's side and observing the beefy appendages. "That happens when blood circulation has been cut off for some amount of time. Your shell was probably positioned against them awkwardly."

"How can I wake 'em up?"

Without a word, Kamek poked Bowser's leg with the handle of his wand. Bowser simply stared at him for a moment as the Magikoopa poked again.

"Did you feel that?" the minion asked, receiving a shake of the head from Bowser in response. "Hm..."

Kamek slammed the wand against Bowser's leg with more force, now swinging his instrument like a club. He asked if Bowser could feel that, only to receive a negative response again. So now, the Magikoopa clutched his wand with both hands, got into a sturdy stance, reared the weapon back, and slammed it against Bowser's leg with as much force as he could muster. Kamek shuddered in slight recoil from the strong hit and looked up at Bowser for a response.

"Nothing," Bowser muttered to the distress of his caretaker.

"Well, this seems to be a bit more serious than any regular sleeping leg problem," Kamek muttered worriedly, succeeding in making Bowser unsettled as well.

"What do you mean 'more serious'? Can't I just moved around a little bit to get the blood flowing again?"

"Yes, technically speaking, you _could_ do that. But I'm not entirely sure if you actually _can_..."

Bowser immediately strained to walk. His upper body urged forward, his face letting his underling know that he was confident he'd be able to pull off the deed rather easily. His feet didn't move an inch though.

Noticing he was failing at lifting his own feet, Bowser took a brief pause before straining forward even harder, his face now featuring furrowed eyebrows and a toothy frown. But still, he didn't move.

Now he was getting fed up. Sick of his own uncooperative legs, Bowser gave a loud grunt as he practically threw his body forward in a mad attempt to get to his lower body in working order. And, for a second, it seemed like it had worked. He was moving. Though, not exactly in the direction he was hoping for.

"Graaah!" Bowser shouted as he came crashing to the ground. Failing to catch himself with his arms, he slammed snout-first into the hard tiling below. Kamek simply stared in shock.

"Stupid legs! Why won't they work!?" Bowser fumed, pounding his fists against the ground in his rage. His underling stood by in silence, allowing Bowser to let all his anger out against the cracking tile that would have to be replaced soon. It was a little while before Bowser finally calmed down a bit and glanced over at him. "Don't just stand there! Do something!" he commanded. Kamek hopped back a little in surprise before responding.

"Yes Sir, Your Angriness!" he shouted out. "I will retrieve a physician for you. I do believe Doctor Toadley's messenger bird is still on the premises."

"I don't want some stupid bird, get the doctor himself!"

"...But King Bowser, Doctor Toadley lives all the way in Toad Town," Kamek whined. "It would take hours to walk over-"

"Who said anything about walking? You've got a broomstick don't you? Just fly there and bring him here. Now."

Ah, Bowser was right. Kamek had nearly forgotten he was trained for aerial combat via use of broomstick. Well then, with that method of travel, such a task really wasn't very cumbersome at all. He could carry it out in just a half hour actually.

Which is exactly what he did. Bowser remained on the floor for a half hour before his Magikoopa assistant made his return, hauling along Doctor Toadley at his side. Apparently, Kamek didn't have to do anything too drastic to convince the Toad to come along with him, despite the fact that Bowser had just recently attempted to stand in the way of his and the Mario Brothers' goal. Of course, in the end, Bowser actually helped much more than he hurt. If it wasn't for him, Mario and Luigi would never have found the first Star Cure before him, nor would the second Star Cure have ever even been obtained at all, and Fawful and the Dark Star probably would have been successful in actually bringing an end to not only the Mushroom Kingdom, but the entire world. If anything, Toadley actually owed Bowser a complimentary check-up and accompanying diagnosis.

Toadley stepped into Bowser's room, bearing his usual mystical clothing that consisted of a purple robe, his purple cap that bore several golden stars and a small, crystal orb atop it, and a purple mask that covered his mouth. Upon seeing his disabled patient, Toadley immediately whipped out his crystal ball and set it on the bed. Bowser would have watched him, but the doctor was standing behind him. The Koopa King would have to settle for just listening.

"Do I see the true nature of your ailment? I do," Toadley began as he stared into his crystal ball, Kamek standing beside him looking into it as well. A picture of a pair of logs with feet showed up. "Is the diagnosis a severe case of Log Legs? It is."

"Log Legs?" Bowser reiterated, having never heard of such a thing in his life. "The heck is that?"

"Quite the advanced form of what is commonly known as Sleeping Legs," Toadley answered. "Is it a rare occurrence? I would say uncommon, but not rare. Especially amongst those of us that are particularly lazy. Did many of the Toads who contracted the Blorbs have this same condition when they were cured? Very many of them did indeed. Log Legs occur when ones legs are in such a deep sleep, they are sawing logs in their dreams. Do those logs need to be dealt with in order to wake the legs up? Yes, they most certainly do."

"How do we treat it?" Kamek asked, causing a different set of images to pop up in the crystal ball. Most of which were disturbingly sharp cutting instruments.

"I would suggest hand saws, preferably two-person to make the task that much easier," the doctor answered to Bowser's sudden distress. "Perhaps an axe or two to help chop the logs up."

"Uh...'chop the logs up'?" Bowser asked worriedly. "So, what, we're supposed to go into my legs' dreams and cut the logs ourselves."

"Are you a silly, immature, unrealistic Koopa for asking such a question? Yes you are. We all know that going into a dream is impossible," Toadley responded somewhat harshly. "Am I suggesting amputation? I am."

"_WHAT!?" _Bowser shouted immediately, slamming a fist against the ground so hard that both Kamek and Toadley bounced up slightly. "No way are you gonna amputate my legs! All those Toads that got the Blorbs were able to walk, so why wouldn't I be able to!?"

"Does the Koopa King overreact? He does. Was Doctor Toadley kidding about amputation? He was. Has amputation ever been, or will it ever be, a doctor's first choice of action? Never."

"I hope you never aspire to be a comedian," Kamek muttered as his momentarily-increased heart rate dialed down a few notches upon hearing that the doctor wasn't being serious. Bowser didn't take the joke so lightly though.

"I didn't bring you here to crack jokes!" Bowser erupted, a short stream of flame spontaneously bursting from his mouth as he spoke. "You're a _doctor!_ _Doctor_ me!"

"Does the phrase 'Doctor me' make any sense at all? It doesn't. But do I digress? I most certainly do," Toadley admitted as he got back to business. "As we all know, in order to cure a sleeping leg, one must move it about in order to stimulate circulation in it. One can also massage it by either pressing against it or even hitting it. But does a case of Log Leg require a more drastic procedure? It does.

"Is Log Leg an ailment that renders one immobile?" Toadley continued on to ask, rhetorically of course, "It is. And, as such, ridding it via walking is impossible. But can it be cured by constant physical pressure? It can."

"So it can be fixed with a massage or something?" Kamek asked, prompting Toadley to glance over at Bowser for a moment. His legs were quite large. Even a deep tissue massage probably wouldn't have any effect on him, unless the individual giving it was quite massive.

"Are Bowser's legs bulky? They are. And so, I cannot suggest a simple massage." He whipped out a pen and a pad and began to scribble immediately. "But there is a way to alleviate this. If there is a way you can apply **constant, intense **pressure to the legs, it's possible that Bowser will, indeed, be able to use them once more."

Toadley ripped off the small sheet and handed it over to Kamek. The only words the doctor had written were "constant, intense pressure". The Koopa began to rack his brain immediately to try and figure out just what to do.

Conveniently, at that moment, a Goomba hurried into the room, bearing a smile on his face. He seemed to be excited as he spoke to Bowser. "King Bowser, have you heard!? Bowser Theater has been completed-"

"Yeah yeah, I know, I don't need to be told again," Bowser growled in response, remembering the first minion to come in bearing the news. He was about to order the underling to leave, not wanting to be seen in his current condition, but Kamek seemed to have something click in his brain about how to help his king.

"What if we had this Goomba headbonk Bowser's legs?" he asked Toadley, causing the Goomba to look over at the two of them, interested. Toadley appeared to think for a moment, staring right back at the Goomba.

"Will the weight of a single Goomba be enough to stimulate blood flow in Bowser's legs? Probably not," he deduced. But not all the news was bad. "On the flip side, will the weight of several dozen Goombas bonking Bowser's legs consecutively be enough? Yes, it probably will."

He then looked at Bowser once more and began to think a bit more deeply. "But will a regular headbonk from said Goombas be enough pressure? I doubt it. Will you need to figure out a way to amplify the headbonks' power in order for them to be effective? You will."

Kamek and Toadley both cocked their heads to the right at the same time as the Goomba continued to simply stare, wondering what the heck they were talking about. But, without warning, Bowser suddenly shot a fireball at the Goomba, setting him aflame.

Kamek and Toadley watched as the Goomba screamed and ran back and forth in panic. Before long, he gave an incredible leap into the air and crashed through the ceiling. Moments later, he came tumbling back down through another hole he'd created upon reentry, positioned to collide with Bowser's left leg, head first. The two observers watched as the Goomba slammed into Bowser's leg and bounced off to land clear across the room. Bowser's leg twitched slightly.

"Did you feel anything Lord Bowser?" the Magikoopa asked.

"Yeah, a little bit," Bowser answered, trying to move his leg again. But, aside from the involuntary twitch, it remained stationary. "So, if we get enough Goombas to do that, my legs will work again?"

"That is correct. It should work," Toadley answered.

Without a moment to spare, Bowser commanded the Goomba to round up a few dozen more Goombas and bring them to the room. Unfazed by the painful-looking fall earlier, the Goomba rushed out of the room to round up several more underlings.

Several minutes later, roughly thirty Goombas were lined up, the first few standing just inside Bowser's room while the rest stretched so far out of it that they had to stand on the ramp leading down to the main hall of the castle.

"Okay minions, you know the drill," Bowser spoke up once he was told that most of the entire Goomba Brigade was ready and standing at attention. "You guys charge at me and I blast you with fireballs. Aim for my legs when you're coming back down from the blast."

"Yes Lord Bowser!" the Goombas shouted, ready to begin their attack. And, at Bowser's command, they began to rush forward, one by one.

Kamek and Toadley looked on as Bowser set the Goombas ablaze one at a time, sending them skyward and out of the way of the next Goomba in line. While the doctor was slightly put off by the brutal sight of brown, walking mushrooms walking willingly into an attack aimed at them by their own king, the Magikoopa watched without so much as a flinch. This same maneuver had been used dozens of times in the past after all. And the Goombas were professionals. If they couldn't take the heat, they wouldn't be in the brigade.

In a matter of a few seconds, every single Goomba was sent skyward successfully, and all eyes looked upward to try and catch a glimpse at the falling squad. Of course, the presence of a ceiling made the viewing a bit tough, but it wasn't long at all before the first Goomba came crashing back into the room, creating a third hole in the ceiling as he aimed for the opposite leg of the one that was assaulted by the test Goomba.

Little mushroom men bounced all over the place as they rebounded off of Bowser's legs, Bowser himself not looking hurt at all as he simply lied on the floor and let his minions do their thing. And it was evident that their work was not in vain.

Several slightly dizzy Goombas later, Bowser found that he was able to move his legs on his own. At last. Now he could stand up and actually get out of that room for once.

"How do you feel Your Mobility?" Kamek asked as Bowser slowly got to his feet and turned toward the exit of his room. He looked down at his feet as he lifted and shook them slightly, tapping the edge of his claws against the tiling a few times per foot. Still felt a little stiff. A bit numb too. But some walking would take care of that.

"Good enough to get out of this room," he answered. "It's about time I get to see what my minions did with the castle."

"Oh yes, and you have to check out the new theater!" one of the Goombas spoke up with several heads behind him nodding in agreement.

"Duh, of course I'm gonna check it out," Bowser responded. "It's gonna be awesome. Way better than that Fawful weirdo's theater."

With that, Bowser promptly exited the room, leaving behind Kamek, Doctor Toadley, and the thirty Goombas to do whatever they wanted.

–

"Huh. Was kinda hoping they'd actually change something," Bowser muttered to himself as he walked throughout the west tower and observed his minions adding finishing touches, after saluting him upon his entrance to whatever room he was inspecting at the time. "Everything just looks the way it did before... Oh well, at least it's clean now. And no more of those stupid Fawful designs all over the place."

Bowser was pleased to see his visage gracing the long, red carpet in his throne room again. To think, Fawful actually had the nerve to replace absolutely every image and statue with his own stupid, grinning face. The place was finally looking respectable again now that that little green freak was done with.

The Koopa King stood on the balcony outside of his throne room now, admiring a statue of himself that rested on the far right edge of platform. His minions sure picked an awesome pose; Bowser's left arm was outstretched before him as his right was curled back, obviously revving up to deliver what would no doubt be a punch to end all punches. And the intensity on the statue's face captured Bowser's real features perfectly. His teeth were clenched in the heat of the battle, his nostrils were flared just the right amount, and his eyes were perfectly portrayed to show the sheer determination in his face. That statue was a work of real art. It was something to be admired-

"Huh?" Bowser mumbled as he swore he heard some kind of weird, brief grinding sound. He looked around for a moment before simply discounting it. But, before long, he heard a noticeable crack and the very ground beneath him jutted downward several inches.

"Uh...what-"

Too late. The edge of the balcony, under the weight of both Bowser and the statue, had begun to collapse, and before Bowser could get to safety, the edge of the balcony slid off of its base and began to plummet to the ground below.

Bowser screamed as he fell just above his beautiful statue, and, thinking quickly, he curled himself up into a tight, protective ball to avoid hurting himself only minutes after fixing his leg problem. Just a few seconds later, Bowser felt himself collide with solid concrete, and, a moment after that, a nasty crash was heard from even further below, accompanied by a couple of screams.

He uncurled himself, finding that he'd landed safely on the pathway that rested between the large building that used to be Fawful Theater and the ramps leading to the floors of the west tower. He was perfectly fine, and he noticed that there were several minions staring down into the hole that led down to the basement of the castle. It was evident that rebuilding the stairway to the basement was near the bottom of the list of things to get done, for, as Bowser looked down himself, he could see that there were several workers down there who were paving the steps at the base. And they'd all been smashed by the now severely cracked statue.

"OoOoOoWwWwWw..."

"It huuurts!"

"Dude! That was soooo...TOTALLY LAME!" the victimized minions whined from beneath the wreckage.

The underlings near Bowser were so worried about their companions that they hopped into the hole without a second thought to help them out.

"After you get them to the infirmary, get whoever sculpted that statue to make another one, and make a few others get back to work on the stairs!" Bowser commanded from the top of the hole. "Oh yeah, and get someone to fix the balcony too! Make it sturdier!"

"Yes, King Bowser!" several of the minions responded. Bowser remained in his position for a little while longer, watching his minions clean up the debris and help each other out of the wreckage. He folded his arms, bowed his head, and closed his eyes, appearing to think.

"Sorry about that," he muttered silently to himself. He quickly popped open an eye and gave a brief sweep of the area. Nobody was around. Good. He couldn't let his minions see that he actually felt a little bad about what just happened. It'd ruin his image.

But whatever. Falling down like that created a shortcut at least. He'd yet to be able to see this new Bowser Theater his minions had been raving about so much that day, and now, he was right next to it. He may as well finally take a look at the subject of all the hype.

Tossing the recent incident out of his mind, Bowser headed south and stomped through the doorway leading to the path that surrounded the newly redone theater. There was an entrance to his immediate left, and, though he figured it would probably be more impressive if he took the main entrance that rested around the corner, Bowser decided to simply cut down on his commute and walk through the double doors right next to him.

A rush of refreshingly cool air blasted by Bowser as he stepped into the massive auditorium. It didn't really smell all that great at the time though; the sweat of the workers putting up last-minute decorations and cleaning up what little dust was left on the floor filled Bowser's senses, and it didn't help that the place was just plain filled up with all kinds of minions, talking and laughing and whatnot since they finally had the time to after getting whatever their assigned jobs were done.

Bowser had to admit though, the place looked nice. As he scanned the area, he could see that the old red carpet that ordained Fawful Theater was replaced with a new, softer one that now had a green border to it. The seats appeared to be plusher, the cushions on which alternated between red and green from seat to seat. The little things in the theater seemed to be similar to what was there before, yet, somehow, the place just seemed...bigger. Maybe there were more chairs in there or something, or the stage was bigger, but the place seemed like it was twice as big as the theater that was there before.

Still though, Bowser wasn't really impressed. There was nothing really _new_ as far as he could see. That is, except those statue that he'd failed to notice before.

Mounted directly over all three of the doors were unique statues of Bowser himself, all portraying him from the waist up. The Koopa King stepped into the center of the theater to properly observe all of the statues, and he had to say, he was very pleased with what he saw.

Over the west entrance was a cocky Bowser. His arms were folded across his chest as he looked out over the auditorium, a toothy smirk occupying his face to remind everyone who gazed upon it just how cool and generally awesome their lord was.

Over the east entrance rested a strong, proud Bowser, whose fist was pumped into the air as the beginning of a stream of fire burst skyward from his mouth. That statue displayed victory and power, and the sheer determination to finish what's been started.

Finally, over the main entrance to the south was a commanding Bowser; one that pointed directly forward, across the room to the stage, with great authority and ferocity resting in his eyes. The energy and will to press forth, take that first step into battle willingly, and to show your power against those that oppose you.

Yes, those three statues alone made the whole rebuilding of the theater feel like a true renovation. _This_ was Bowser's theater. _This_ was Bowser's domain.

"Oooh, King Bowseeer! Welcome to Bowser Theateeer!" a Goomba girl spoke up, standing a few feet away from the king as he noticed that pretty much the entire population of the area had their eyes on him by now. "Please siiir, you have to take your seat! The grand opening ceremony is about to begiiin!"

"Oh my gosh, King Bowser's finally here!"

"I hope he likes it!"

"Wait, what? There's gonna be a grand opening ceremony?"

"Yes Johnny, don't you remember? There's gonna be a show for Bowser to commemorate the newly built theater, duh!"

"Are they doing that dance number we talked about-"

"No Johnny, get over that stupid dance idea, ugh!"

The entire theater rumbled and shook as the dozens of minions within scattered to whatever available seat they could find. Bowser nearly lost his footing in all the quaking that suddenly erupted and, in the blink of an eye, every single minion was seated and the pathways of the theater were empty except for Bowser and a few Goomba attendees, two of which who manned the front entrance and the third who continued to stand near Bowser.

Regaining his bearings, Bowser began to look around.

No open seats next to the west entrance.

He stepped over to the east side.

No open seats there either...

He turned back and walked toward the front of the auditorium and turned to face everyone.

Not a single open seat...

What the heck? This was turning out to be the exact same thing that happened when Fawful still had control of the castle.

"Oh, Lord Bowseeer, these little seats couldn't possibly contain your awesomeneeess," the airy Goomba girl spoke up, approaching Bowser as he appeared to be ticked off by the lack of seating. "Please Your Rancidneeess, follow me, to your own, special seat."

Special seat huh? Now memories of Fawful Theater were really coming back to mind as thoughts of the rigged "VIP" seat invaded Bowser's mind again. He suddenly felt suspicious of his own minions. What if they were trying to pull something?

And, to make matters worse, the special seat in question was located in the very same spot the VIP seat was; underneath a hatch in the very center of the auditorium, where the four pathways leading to the exits and the stage all converged. It was understandable that Bowser was a little skeptical as the personalized seat rose out of the floor, it's back fashioned to resemble Bowser's own spiky green shell.

"This seat isn't gonna toss me up on stage like that one in Fawful Theater did, is it?" Bowser asked, folding his arms and staring down the seat. "If you guys are trying to pull anything, I'll fry every last one of you."

"Of cooouuurse not Lord Bowser!" the Goomba replied with an innocent smile. "No way would we ever trick our kiiing."

"...Well, okay," Bowser muttered, dropping his arms as he took a step toward the seat, but came to a sudden pause. He stared at the thing just a little while longer before deciding he may as well trust it. He finally took his seat, and the Goomba attendant departed.

Shortly thereafter, every light in the auditorium suddenly shut off, leaving the room awash in darkness as whatever few excited whispers amongst the crowd grew silent. Bowser, resolved to get over his initial worry of the chair, decided he may as well relax and see just what it was that his minions were about to put on for a show.

"_LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GOOMBAS AND KOOPAS (), WEL~COME TO OUR SPECIAL CEREMONY IN HONOR OF THE GRAND OPENING OF THE ONE AND ONLY, BOWSEEER THEATEEER~!"_

The crowd erupted into an immediate uproar, filling the auditorium with cheers and shouts as Bowser himself crossed one leg over the top of the other and folded his arms, smiling.

"_EVERYONE! GIVE IT UP FOR THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE PINNACLE OF ALL THAT IS AND EVER WILL BE AWESOME, KIIING BOOOWSEEER~!!"_

The spotlight shone right on Bowser from directly above, highlighting his figure for all to see and applaud with even more vigor than before. Bowser, used to massive amounts of attention, stood from his seat and waved to his adoring audience with a chuckle.

After a moment or two of gracing his followers with his presence, Bowser sat down once more as the spotlight above him shut off and another light accentuated the left side of the stage, where Corporal Paraplonk stood.

"King Bowser, jack of all trades, and master of them too!" he shouted out proudly, just before another light showed the right side of the stage. Now was Sergeant Guy's turn.

"King Bowser, businessman of legend! Fear his accounting!" he added moments before a third spotlight brightened up the center of the stage, where Private Goomp rested.

"King Bowser, the best of the best, the crème of the crop! Awesomeness incarnate in a Koopa shell!" he threw in with a bright smile on his face. "Just last week, his latest journey of epic proportions came to a close! And, once again, our king has proven that he simply cannot be bested!"

The lights on the stage now shut off, leaving the entire theater black for several seconds as the next scene was being set up. Bowser waited in anticipation as everything was put into place.

Before long, the entire stage was lit up once more. The crowd was noticeably impressed by what they saw, as was Bowser. The previously empty stage was now set up to resemble the very backdrop that framed the final confrontation between Bowser and Dark Bowser. A large screen playing a video of neverending swirling darkness was settled behind a few crescent shaped pillars that framed the two battling parties.

Bowser and Dark Bowser, aptly represented as impressively detailed robots, stood on either side of the stage, staring each other down before the confrontation began.

"It all seemed hopeless when the Dark Star copied our lord's abilities and turned into his doppleganger," Goomp's voice blared over the speaker system. "The entire world was plunged into darkness and was threatened to end right then and there. It was a dreadful time for all of us."

"But Lord Bowser remained unfazed!" Paraplonk continued. "Climbing to the peak of Peach's Castle with a steely determination, he faced his foe without so much as a bat of the eye!"

"And that's when it began," Sergeant Guy picked up. The two machines suddenly began to jet streams of fire at each other, Bowser's stream being red and Dark Bowser's being black. The two streams met in the middle, neither getting the upper hand over the other. "With the opposing streams of fire started the final confrontation that would decide the fate of the world."

As soon as the fiery stalemate was over, the Bowser robot lunged forward and delivered a gear-shattering punch to the jaw of its opponent. Dark Bowser recoiled, but was steadied and ready to counter. A large hatch opened up just next to it on the stage and out of it, a large, cardboard boulder was pulled. Dark Bowser picked it up and threw it into the rafters above the stage, followed by a small fireball that trailed after it. Lights flashed for a moment, and soon, cardboard chunks of the boulder were falling toward the Bowser robot.

Bowser ducked, using his shell as a shield to deflect three of the chunks before standing and winding up for a punch. He slammed another chunk right into the jaw of Dark Bowser, promptly before it exploded in an impressive flash of purple light, dealing further damage to the doppleganger.

The crowd was exploding with cheers as the battle raged on. They whistled and hollered every time their lord threw a punch, scorched his foe with fire, or called upon one of his faithful minion units to help deal additional damage. It felt so realistic that a few of them even threw some coins up on the stage, forgetting that the two battling parties were robots.

Bowser himself was quite pleased with the production as well. He was impressed that his soldiers could put on such a show with what little spare materials they had while capturing the action realistically and faithfully to what actually happened. He even found himself cheering for his own representative robot as the battle reached its conclusion.

"With a final, awe-inspiring punch of great power and justice, Lord Bowser put the Dark Star down to its final rest," Goomp's voice spoke up as the robot wound back. The crowd waited with bated breath as Bowser's arm began to strain under the intense focus he was putting behind the final blow. And then, it happened.

With one last, glorious blow, Bowser ripped right through his opponent, causing it to explode in a fiery blast of combustion and smoke. The smog lingered on the stage for some time before clearing up, and, out of it, stepped Bowser, his fisted pumped high and mighty into the air. He had emerged victorious.

The very foundation of the theater quaked under the massive cheers that burst forth from the electric crowd. Every single minion in the room had gotten to their feet to clap, whistle, cheer, sing songs of praise, stamp their feet, and explode with overwhelming energy. And among the masses stood Bowser as well, who had gotten up from his seat to cheer on the Bowser bot that continued to stand on the stage in his victorious pose.

Now _this_ was a show worthy of being played in his castle. Fawful couldn't touch this with a ten-mile long stick in his cruddy theater if he even tried.

* * *

**Footnote: And there's the beginning for you. Kinda longer than I expected it to be, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. See you next chapter!**


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